Desire

I have had a desire to update my blog lately but I am struggling to find the words to say. I guess I could just say that I am trying to adjust to life as it is now and find my path in life. I am on a journey to find out what it is that I want out of life. I want to do things in life that bring me joy and help me progress down a path that is healthy for me. So for now I will just say that I am working toward an unknown goal...

I have so much going through my mind its hard to know where to start. I will try to make sense of all of it and see how that goes.

When life takes a turn that you did not expect it can throw off your entire groove. I am learning this yet again at this point in my life. I have learned that much strength and growth can come from the hard experiences in life. I have also learned that perseverance and positive thinking can go a long way. I am faced with the opportunity to once again take a look at my life and move forward. In times past I have closed my eyes and ran with all my might in a meaningless direction and it doesn't take long to stumble and fall, hurt myself and others, and end up face down in a gutter utterly embarrassed. This time I have a different outlook and I am striving to take a different path. Times like this can be very healthy if approached in a careful manner and I am determined that it can and will be a great opportunity to take life by the horns and ride. When I have been abruptly cut off from my known future in the past I have been known to turn back, look at the past and mope. This time it will be different. Its all about the positive thinking and turning my will and my life over to God as I know him. The pain, the sorrow, the anger, the exhaustion, the powerlessness, the pain, the pain, the pain, it all has to be turned over to God. So thats what I did as soon as the pain started. I decided not to isolate myself and get out, try to enjoy life and be grateful for the things I do have. I have been asked many times how it is that I am handling all this so well and my only response can be that I have turned it over to God and clung to people I know love me for company and strength. I am grateful for the friends and family I have to love and support me through this hard time!

I feel like I am rambling incoherently but I have to let it all out.

So, what am I going to do? We shall see what the Lord has in store for me. I know he won't lead me astray.

Long past due update!

I have not updated my blog in a very long time. I would venture to say that I am a blog slacker but I know that is simply not true. I have been busy with the everyday rigors of life and making some very important life changing choices. I will try to be more diligent in my updates and more thorough with my explanations but its late now so it will have to wait. more to come!
Good Night!